prayers

It is a sad fact nowadays that, before climbing into bed, not many people kneel beside the bed to say their prayers  -  as once was the custom.  In case it should encourage you, here are two prayers  -  one each for women and for men  .  .  .

FEMALE PRAYER

Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who’s not a creep,

One who’s handsome, smart and strong, One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks, One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he’s gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door, Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh, send me a man who’ll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to “How big is my behind?”

I pray that this man will love me no end, And never attempt to hit on my friend.

And as I pray beside my bed, I look at the clown you sent me instead.

Amen.

MALE PRAYER

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store.

Amen.